My helper came in March and we sent her back to the agent just a week before National Day. Having a helper in the house is not an easy feat, no joke. Especially when we’re a very young family at home and we’re almost of the same age as the helper. We didn’t want to get someone especially old because if they’re a lot senior than us, technically speaking, we should respect them so it’ll be hard for us to “boss” them around, in that sense. I mean, not like we boss our helper around but you know… if they’re not older than us, it’ll be easier for us to get them to do this or that.
Well…. where do I start. There were just so much issues. Everything was going well UNTIL we started to get her a phone and allowed her to use facebook every night as a form of me-time and for her to video call her husband back in Indonesia. She freely used our wifi. We really didn’t mind. Until she started to show her true colours on facebook and we started to realise that in front of us, she behaves like a completely different person than the person she is on social media. She was all nice and polite in ‘reality’ but she was angst and always feeling annoyed on her facebook status.
That’s not all. She started writing things that were untrue and that were what really pissed me off. I am not going to talk specifically about what she did anymore because I’m so over it but to be honest, sending her back was “sayang” in that sense because she was very close to Dina. If Dina likes her, it probably mean that she treated Dina quite nicely, right? But ever since we got to know that our helper is a two-faced, we could never look at her in the same way again, no matter how she tried to get into our good books back.
After the incident, we didn’t let her use the phone everyday anymore so she was trying her best to win back our trust because she wanted to use the phone everyday but that was not going to happen because we were already feeling negatively towards her.
Was telling the husband that probably, it was good to have really sent her back because we’re always, always talking bad about her and it won’t do any of us good. It’s painful having to fork out the money for a replacement and really… she wasn’t so bad (at least she wasn’t stealing) but I think that keeping her any longer would just datangkan dosa for us.
Getting a helper is all about luck and with her; she just wasn’t the best fit for us.
Anyways, eversince I sent her back, she has not updated her facebook status and her husband keeps on calling her (which got through our home iPad ‘cause before she was given a phone, we let her use our iPad) and I just wanna say…. “SEE!! Not many employers allow you to use your handphone and facebook okay! At least with us, you still get to use the phone even if you don’t get to use it everyday. Who actually bothers to get a handphone for their helpers so that they can have some me-time with facebook? And we gave you a phone just one month after you came ‘cause we pitied you okayyyy. Now your new employers da tak kasi dah.”
But really lah, that was stupidity on our part. We learnt from it and we are definitely more prepared to handle our second helper.
Now that we have gone from having a helper to having none now (as we wait for our replacement), I am in a better position to access whether I really need a helper. And I think I do.
1) My house is super clean. We don’t just spring clean for raya, we spring clean every week, except that it’s not ‘we’ who do the spring cleaning but her ‘cause that’s her job. What else can she do at home when Dina is in school, right?
2) My bathrooms are always in a good condition.
3) I don’t have to worry about doing any laundry!
4) My snoods and dUck scarves are all thoroughly hand washed after just one time of usage.
5) I have clean bedsheets every week!
6) I still get to cook but I don’t have to prepare nor do any washing so it makes cooking a lot more fun.
7) Dina eats home cooked meal almost all the time.
8) When Dina falls sick, there’s someone to take care of her at home.
And more…. I guess. But point 7 was the biggest push factor as to why we got a helper in the first place. Everyone raise their child differently and I guess at least for me, I’m particular in this aspect because I feel that what you eat has a strong correlation to how you develop as a whole. We’re always alternating between salmon and threadfin and it’s not like we can easily find soupy salmon or threadfin outside. And then…. there’s the salt content that I need to worry about. On weekends, Dina usually eat fast food like swensens, pizza hut etc and I’m okay with it because she already eats healthily on weekdays!
Now that I am helper-less, my biggest concern has always been whether I can rush home on time to cook for Dina. I need at least an hour to cook and she’s usually hungry at 530pm. Sighs.